(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”
Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”
(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)
Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”
Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”
Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”
Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!
(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”
(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)
Doctor/Physician, Edinburgh, Hospital, Rude & Risque, Scotland, UK | Healthy | February 16, 2018
(I am about to have a vasectomy, under a local anaesthetic. The female surgeon and I having been making general chat, and she now approaches with the needle to inject me with the anaesthetic.)
Cape Town, Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, South Africa | Healthy | February 15, 2018
(I have just moved to a new area, and I decide to try out the local optometrist to get new contact lenses. I book the appointment, and the doctor asks me to come in with my current prescription and their respective casings. The day of the appointment, I wake up with the most horrible stomach pain, but I decide to suck it up and go to the appointment. The doctor is very cheerful and friendly. She asks if I’m currently wearing my lenses while she looks at my old prescription, and I tell her I am. A few minutes into my eye test, she sighs in wonder.)
Doctor: “I don’t understand why your previous doctor has you on such a high prescription! You should be on a -1, at most!”
(I’m quite taken aback, as my previous doctor in my hometown is one of the most acclaimed optometrists in the country, and I have been wearing -3 prescription lenses for over a year without any problems.)
Me: “That’s really weird. I’m blind as a bat without these lenses. Even when I started wearing glasses, I was at least a -2.”
Doctor: “You shouldn’t be able to read this chart at all with your eyes. I’m really not sure what’s going on here.”
Me: *pause* “You are aware I’m still wearing my lenses, right?”
Doctor: “…”
Me: “…”
(Turns out we were having such a nice chat that she’d completely forgotten to ask me to take them out, and I was so focused on my stomach pain that I hadn’t thought to ask. We had a good laugh about it, and the rest of the test went smoothly! She’s one of the nicest doctors I’ve been to in a long time, and she gave me a good chuckle on a bad Monday morning!)
Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | February 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)
Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer: “Israel!”
(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)
Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”
Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”
Customer: “Israel!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”
Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”
Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”
(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)
Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”
Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”
Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”
(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)
Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”
Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”
Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”
(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)
Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”
Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”
Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”
Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”
Customer: “No, you’re not!”
Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”
Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”
Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”
Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”
Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”
Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”
Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”
Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”
Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”
Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”
Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”
(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)
Hospital, Liars/Scammers, Nurses, Teenagers, USA | Healthy | February 13, 2018
(I am a medical lab scientist. I receive a urine sample from the ER to test only for drugs, marked as belonging to a fifteen-year-old boy. The sample is quite clear — if someone is really hydrated that can happen — and it’s cold. We usually receive urine still warm, but sometimes it sits while they decide if they want to test it for anything. It’s negative for all the street drugs we test for. I release the results and then, a bit later, I get a call from a nurse.)
Nurse: “Hi. I was just wondering about the drug screen for [Patient].”
Me: “Sure. What do you need?”
Nurse: “Well, it was cold when he gave it to me, and I just don’t quite believe it’s negative. Is there anything you could do to find out if it was water?”
(I think for a moment and come up with a few fast things that I could do to find out whether or not it is water.)
Me: “Yeah, let me grab it and try something.”
(I do a really quick test and come up with something you would not expect for pee.)
Me: “Either this kid is in very severe kidney failure, or this is water.”
Nurse: “Thank you. I just graduated and passed my boards, so I’m still learning knowledge-versus-wisdom. Now I know when I feel like the urine feels cold, I should do something about it.”
Me: “Did you want me to credit those charges?”
Nurse: “Yes. We will be recollecting. And there will be a male care tech going in that bathroom with him.”
Me: *laughing* “I would imagine.”
(Once I get off the phone, I do some more chemical testing and learn that this sample has none of the chemical properties of urine. This kid didn’t even think to try the one where you dilute your actual pee with water — which we can also catch — or even to just put WARM water in the cup. It was straight, cold, tap-water. I walk across the lab to tell this one to the other lab scientists, one of whom is known for being extremely cynical about everything.)
Cynical Coworker: “That nurse is way too nice. I’d catheterize the kid. Teach him to never do that one again.”
(We then started a prizeless pool, guessing what the kid was on that he was trying to hide. In the end, the actual urine arrived, and it was positive for marijuana.)
Bank, Emergency Services, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, USA, West Virginia | Healthy | February 12, 2018
I work as a bank teller. One morning a customer walks in, and I notice that he is both extremely pale and has a rasping cough as he approaches me to make a withdrawal. Just as I grab his money and begin to count it out in front of him, to my horror, he suddenly turns his head to the side, coughs violently, then begins to vomit a large amount of blood.
My coworkers quickly move to get the customer a chair to sit in as I call 911. During the commotion, an apparent acquaintance of the customer rushes in and helps hold him upright to walk him to the chair
Less than five minutes later, an ambulance arrives and takes the customer away. We learn the acquaintance is actually the customer’s neighbor. The customer had been feeling very unwell the last few days, and the neighbor had agreed to take him to the hospital, but he wanted to stop at the bank first to make sure he had some cash on hand if necessary. We block off my teller station and call in professional cleaners to come and clean up the potentially hazardous blood.
A few months later, I am working at my usual station again when I call for the next in line and suddenly realize I am talking to this same customer. I almost don’t recognize him, as he has much more color to his face and appears to have put on some necessary weight. He also recognizes me, and apologizes again for the incident. It turns out the pain he was experiencing was from his appendix, which actually ruptured as I was waiting on him. He says that the doctors have now given him a clean bill of health, and then he leaves, after jumping up and down a few times to show how much his health has improved.
Bizarre, Dentist, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2018
(I am at the dentist’s for a general cleaning, with a hygienist I haven’t been with before. Things are going normally until this happens.)
Hygienist: “Oh, wow. Wow. This is really unusual.”
Me: “Is… Is something wrong?”
Hygienist: “Let me get the dentist. I have never seen this before.”
(By now, I am panicking in the chair a little. The hygienist leaves, then comes back with the dentist, and they both look into my mouth.)
Hygienist: “Look at her uvula. Isn’t it a weird shape? I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “It just has a bit of an indent in the middle.”
Hygienist: “Her uvula looks so weird. I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “All right, [Hygienist], you can go now. I can finish up this cleaning.”
(The dentist told me it was nothing to worry about and barely noticeable, then finished the cleaning without issue. No dentist or hygienist had ever told me I had a weird uvula before.)
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Military, USA | Healthy | February 9, 2018
(My military career has me outdoors most of the time, usually in very hot and sunny places. Several years later, I develop a rough patch on my face and am referred to a specialist who listens to my history and diagnoses a precancerous lesion. He recommends that it be removed right away, during this visit, and I agree. He leaves the exam room, and I overhear him giving instructions to the nurse.)
Nurse: “So, what kind of local do you want for her?”
Children, Medical Office, Missouri, Nurses, Siblings, St Louis, USA | Healthy | February 8, 2018
(My younger sister and brother are due to get their polio vaccinations. Despite being two years younger than her, my brother is several inches taller and 40 pounds heavier than our sister. But, as she’s older, she gets to go first.)
Mom: “She has a fear of shots, just to warn you.”
Nurse: “Oh, that’s no problem. I know nobody likes shots.” *turns to my sister* “Now, I’m just going to clean the skin on your leg for the shot.”
Sister: “It’s cold!”
Nurse: “Yes, it is. But it will warm up again in a minute. Now, you’re just going to feel a pinch…”
(My sister sees the needle and flips out, screaming, crying, and flailing. She even manages to kick the nurse in the face before my mom is able to hold her down.)
Nurse: *finally gets the shot in* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know that hurt. I promise, if you relax, shots don’t hurt so much. Would you like a sucker?”
(My sister won’t stop crying; she’s in full panic mode.)
Me: “Mom, if you want, I can take [Brother] to another room and help him get his shot.”
Mom: *still trying to control my sister* “Please, do.”
(I gather up my hefty little brother and follow the nurse to the exam room next door.)
Nurse: “Go ahead and put him on the table, please.”
Me: “Sure thing. Here you go, buddy! You doing okay?”
Brother: “Yeah.” *with the implication of “why shouldn’t I be?”*
(The nurse looks him over, and then leaves without a word. A few minutes later, she comes back in with not one, but three orderlies, all strong-looking men, to hold my brother down. One orderly stands behind him and holds his arms around my brother’s arms and torso, while the other two each secure a leg.)
Me: “He’s not going to go crazy like [Sister] did. He’s our gentle giant, I swear.”
(The nurse ignores me, cleans his leg, and then counts to three for his shot.)
Brother: *frowns* “Ow.”
Nurse: *stunned* “Ow?”
Brother: “That hurt. Can I have a sucker, now?”
(He didn’t so much as twitch, and he accepted his treat with a smile. [Sister] was still crying a river, and didn’t stop until we were halfway home.)
England, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, UK | Healthy | February 7, 2018
(I have a psychologist assigned to me at my hospital, where I am a frequent visitor and inpatient due to a chronic illness. She’s not very good at her job, at least when it comes to me; every conversation I have with her ends in frustration for me, and a completely warped assessment of my emotional and mental state for my doctor. Eventually, I get tired of it, and ask not to see her anymore, since I think she misunderstands and/or misrepresents my mental health. This is the last conversation I have with her, during a week-long hospitalisation.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but considering that I asked you not to come today, and you came anyway, and once again you haven’t really understood what I’m saying, I’m going to ask the doctors not to send you to me anymore.
Psychologist: “Oh… Well, I still have one more visit planned for the day before you leave.”
Me: “Please cancel it. I appreciate your help, but I just become too frustrated.”
Psychologist: “Well… if you change your mind, please let–
Me: “I’m not going to change my mind.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you do, just tell one of the day nurses and—”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to.”
Psychologist: “Well, just in case you do—”
Me: “I’m not.”
Psychologist: “I know you think that now, but I’ll be here if you want to chat.”
Me: “I promise you, I won’t.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you change your mind…”
(Then, she just stood there smiling. I stared at her in disbelief until she left
Bizarre, Dentist, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2018
(I am at the dentist’s for a general cleaning, with a hygienist I haven’t been with before. Things are going normally until this happens.)
Hygienist: “Oh, wow. Wow. This is really unusual.”
Me: “Is… Is something wrong?”
Hygienist: “Let me get the dentist. I have never seen this before.”
(By now, I am panicking in the chair a little. The hygienist leaves, then comes back with the dentist, and they both look into my mouth.)
Hygienist: “Look at her uvula. Isn’t it a weird shape? I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “It just has a bit of an indent in the middle.”
Hygienist: “Her uvula looks so weird. I’ve never seen that before.”
Dentist: “All right, [Hygienist], you can go now. I can finish up this cleaning.”
(The dentist told me it was nothing to worry about and barely noticeable, then finished the cleaning without issue. No dentist or hygienist had ever told me I had a weird uvula before.)
Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Military, USA | Healthy | February 9, 2018
(My military career has me outdoors most of the time, usually in very hot and sunny places. Several years later, I develop a rough patch on my face and am referred to a specialist who listens to my history and diagnoses a precancerous lesion. He recommends that it be removed right away, during this visit, and I agree. He leaves the exam room, and I overhear him giving instructions to the nurse.)
Nurse: “So, what kind of local do you want for her?”
Children, Medical Office, Missouri, Nurses, Siblings, St Louis, USA | Healthy | February 8, 2018
(My younger sister and brother are due to get their polio vaccinations. Despite being two years younger than her, my brother is several inches taller and 40 pounds heavier than our sister. But, as she’s older, she gets to go first.)
Mom: “She has a fear of shots, just to warn you.”
Nurse: “Oh, that’s no problem. I know nobody likes shots.” *turns to my sister* “Now, I’m just going to clean the skin on your leg for the shot.”
Sister: “It’s cold!”
Nurse: “Yes, it is. But it will warm up again in a minute. Now, you’re just going to feel a pinch…”
(My sister sees the needle and flips out, screaming, crying, and flailing. She even manages to kick the nurse in the face before my mom is able to hold her down.)
Nurse: *finally gets the shot in* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know that hurt. I promise, if you relax, shots don’t hurt so much. Would you like a sucker?”
(My sister won’t stop crying; she’s in full panic mode.)
Me: “Mom, if you want, I can take [Brother] to another room and help him get his shot.”
Mom: *still trying to control my sister* “Please, do.”
(I gather up my hefty little brother and follow the nurse to the exam room next door.)
Nurse: “Go ahead and put him on the table, please.”
Me: “Sure thing. Here you go, buddy! You doing okay?”
Brother: “Yeah.” *with the implication of “why shouldn’t I be?”*
(The nurse looks him over, and then leaves without a word. A few minutes later, she comes back in with not one, but three orderlies, all strong-looking men, to hold my brother down. One orderly stands behind him and holds his arms around my brother’s arms and torso, while the other two each secure a leg.)
Me: “He’s not going to go crazy like [Sister] did. He’s our gentle giant, I swear.”
(The nurse ignores me, cleans his leg, and then counts to three for his shot.)
Brother: *frowns* “Ow.”
Nurse: *stunned* “Ow?”
Brother: “That hurt. Can I have a sucker, now?”
(He didn’t so much as twitch, and he accepted his treat with a smile. [Sister] was still crying a river, and didn’t stop until we were halfway home.)
England, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, UK | Healthy | February 7, 2018
(I have a psychologist assigned to me at my hospital, where I am a frequent visitor and inpatient due to a chronic illness. She’s not very good at her job, at least when it comes to me; every conversation I have with her ends in frustration for me, and a completely warped assessment of my emotional and mental state for my doctor. Eventually, I get tired of it, and ask not to see her anymore, since I think she misunderstands and/or misrepresents my mental health. This is the last conversation I have with her, during a week-long hospitalisation.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but considering that I asked you not to come today, and you came anyway, and once again you haven’t really understood what I’m saying, I’m going to ask the doctors not to send you to me anymore.
Psychologist: “Oh… Well, I still have one more visit planned for the day before you leave.”
Me: “Please cancel it. I appreciate your help, but I just become too frustrated.”
Psychologist: “Well… if you change your mind, please let–
Me: “I’m not going to change my mind.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you do, just tell one of the day nurses and—”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to.”
Psychologist: “Well, just in case you do—”
Me: “I’m not.”
Psychologist: “I know you think that now, but I’ll be here if you want to chat.”
Me: “I promise you, I won’t.”
Psychologist: “Well, if you change your mind…”
(Then, she just stood there smiling. I stared at her in disbelief until she left.)
Assisted Living, Belgium, Extra Stupid, Nurses | Healthy | February 6, 2018
(I am in the retirement home where my mother has spent her last years, doing some paperwork with the clerk. A nurse comes into the office, and the clerk introduces me
Clerk: “Meet Mrs. [My Name]’s daughter.”
Nurse: *very cheerily* “Oh, yes! Mrs. [My Name] is doing great; no problems!”
Me: “No doubt about it! She was cremated yesterday.”
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)
Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”
Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”
(Due to some weird allergic reactions, I’ve been sent to have a blood test done. As I enter the phlebotomist’s room, Coldplay’s “Yellow” is playing on a small radio.)
Nurse: “Now, how are you with needles?”
Me: “They’re not my favourite thing, but I’m okay with them. Never had any problems before.”
(They get me set up with the needle in my arm, and everything’s okay at first, but after about a minute I start to feel woozy, nauseated, and sweaty, and my hearing fades out. “Yellow” has been replaced with a staticky noise. I try to communicate this to the nurse, but something gets lost on the way to my mouth.)
Me: *flaps hand at nurse* “Chris Martin went grey! Gonna blarf…”
(I vomit in my lap and then faint. When I wake up, I’m wearing a blood pressure cuff and someone’s fetched my mum from the waiting area.)
Nurse: “Wow, I’ve had people freak out before, but you’re the first one who’s fainted! By the way, who’s Chris Martin?”
Me: “Huh?”
Nurse: “You were talking about him, said he went grey or something? It seemed pretty urgent.”
Me: “No idea.”
(Chris Martin is the lead singer of Coldplay, a band which I’m fairly ambivalent about. Apparently, my brain is better at remembering music trivia when starved of oxygen and shutting down!)
Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses | Healthy | February 3, 2018
(I am on the evening shift at a specialized cancer ward. I come out from a room and bump into one of my colleagues. This woman is older than I am and, I assume, far more experienced than I am, although I have racked up a fair amount of experience myself at this point. My colleague looks decidedly puzzled.)
Me: “Is something wrong?”
Colleague: “It’s so strange. The patient in [Room] is so unresponsive. And I don’t know what to do about this. She was turning blue and seemed to have trouble breathing!”
(This was delivered almost frustratingly slow. She started to describe just HOW the patient was using her whole torso to draw air into her lungs, but I ran past her into the patient’s room. She’d had a cardiac arrest! I pressed the alarm and, miracle of miracles, we managed to resuscitate her through sheer stubbornness and hard work. We were overjoyed with the resuscitation, but we all had some choice words with the head nurse about our colleague! I never saw her working there again after that.)
Doctor/Physician, Emergency Services, Ignoring & Inattentive, Iowa, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 2, 2018
(My husband and I are in the ER, about ten days after I have given birth via C-section, and about five days after I have finally been released from the hospital. Due to pregnancy complications, my husband and I haven’t had sex for several months. I have severe abdominal pain and have been waiting to be seen for several hours. Finally, a doctor comes into the room to check me over. She is holding my chart, on which I mentioned several times that I just had a baby.)
Doctor: “Are you pregnant?”
Me: “No.”
Doctor: “Are you sure? We’re going to run some tests that could be harmful to the baby.”
Me: “I am sure I’m not pregnant.”
Doctor: “How about you take a test just to be sure?”
Me: “I. Just. Had. A. Baby. So, unless you guys missed something when you were cleaning me out two weeks ago, or God decided it’s time for another immaculate conception, I. Am. Not. Pregnant.”
Doctor: “Uh, okay, then.”
(She then sends a nurse in with some painkillers so I can finally get some relief. Two days later, I get a phone call from the hospital.)
Nurse: “I’m sorry, but it looks like one of your samples we took the other night was contaminated. We strongly recommend you take a pregnancy test.”
At The Checkout, Cashier, Grocery Store, Health & Body, Jerk, Pennsylvania, USA | Working | February 26, 2018
(I’m in my late 20s, but because of my size, I am often mistaken for a teenager. A few months prior to this incident, my husband and I decided to start trying to conceive. I’m very excited and immediately go out and buy a pregnancy test. A few weeks later, the test is negative, and I go to the same store to buy a pack of tests. I am checked out by the same cashier, an older woman. When I approach with the tests, she gives me a disgusted look. The following happens
Me: “Hi, how are you today?”
Cashier: “I’m fine… Honey, would you like me to show you where we keep the condoms? They’re not hard to find; they’re in the same aisle as the tests.”
Me: *a little taken aback* “No, thank you.”
(The cashier doesn’t ring out the test. She just looks at me.)
Cashier: “Sweetie, the condoms aren’t too expensive. We have some great options, and it would be a lot better than these constant scares.”
Me: “Oh, it’s not a scare—”
Cashier: *cuts me off* “I saw you a few weeks ago, buying a test. I remember because I said a prayer for you, that you wouldn’t be pregnant.”
Me: *getting angry now* “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to pray for! I want to be pregnant”
Cashier: *looks horrified* “Honey, you don’t want to be pregnant; trust me. You want to finish school, get a job, and find a guy who wants you for more than sex. Make the guy marry you first!”
Me: “Pretty sure this is none of your business, but my husband and I both have well-paying jobs, and a baby would be a blessing. Please ring me out.”
Cashier: “I can’t believe your parents let you get married so young!”
Me: “I’m almost 30. And again, this is none of your business.”
(She finally finished ringing me out, and I had a word with the manager about the incident. He promised to speak to her about it. It’s been two weeks, and when I go back she avoids me like the plague.)
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